Monday October 26,2015

I don't know how long it's been but it's been a while. I have decided I need to start using my blog as a means to update my weight. I use to be so fit and happy and now I've become numb and fat. Well I'm not huge fat but I did gain 30 pounds. So without further ado I will now update this on the regular. 

CW: 156

GW: 125 

New Start

Hi, 
I know it has been a while. Im happy to say that i will getting back on this. I will download the app on my iPhone and start blogging regularly.  Most of my blogs will be about my eating and fitness regimen and how my life has been it has gotten better and i feel a little better about myself. 


Stay Beautiful

Amee  

Lately I feel alone, I always do. I put myself way out there and I get so rejected it hurts. And I just keep doing it to myself and its like no one cares. Promises broken. If they don't care why should I. Like why should I care to keep living

Every day I feel ugly. I look at myself and think how can I be alive. I don't understand.  I don't understand why people say im pretty,  what are they looking at who are they looking at. I don't even know how I have a "boyfriend" its quite disgusting.

Its been a while.

Im still struggling with my weight. Im not happy. Im at one meal a day and im still fat. Sometimes I feel light headed like right now but I ignore it. I feel weird. I feel like a look good 5% of the time but then I look back and im looking at a whale. It's pretty disgusting.  I'm ordering some juices come friday. And im excited. Im doing a three day cleanse. Which means I can only drink jucies and water for three days. I really want to get down to 110 by the summer. I hate my arms and my belly. I hate everything. Why can't I be perfect. 

-____-

Today i was told that i was getting skinny, according to what. I look at myself and just see disgusting

Food Diary for today

Breakfast:
Fiber one brownie: 90 calories
coffee with creamer: ~40 calories.
Lunch:
Greek yogurt: 140 calories
 water water water
Dinner: Im not going to eat dinner i think i'll just drink water.

going to the gym for a 20 minute run and do some abs.

Total calories= 270
 going to burn at least 200 at the gym!!!